In Within Reach magazine, we love sharing different experiences, and points of view to try break down stigma and build connections with people. In this issue we’re chatting to Lily George about dating with a difference and her experience on a Channel 4 dating show…
Lily, welcome to WR Magazine. Please tell us a bit about yourself…
Hi, thanks for having me! I’m Lily, 29 (just!). I was born with Symbrachydactyly on my right hand, and I grew up on the Isle of Wight, where I still work but I now live in Southsea. I’m an Event Manager and Choreographer for Shademakers UK. We get to travel all over, rock some wild costumes, and work with amazing communities. One of our biggest gigs recently was leading the parade for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee through London, right past The Royal Family—such a highlight!
On the Isle of Wight, we’ve also recently opened a new cultural arts building called Department. It’s got everything from arts projects to The National Poo Museum (yep, you read that right)! I’m also running my own dance fitness classes because I just can’t sit still.
How would you describe yourself?
I’d say I’m bubbly, a little silly, and I don’t take myself too seriously. That said, I can get a bit anxious at times. I’m passionate about my work, my family and friends, and my dog, Murphy! I love spending time with the people I care about and making memories. And I’ve always loved dancing and singing, even if it’s not always in tune! I’m also really into fashion. There’s something so fun about switching up your look based on how you’re feeling. Clothes are like a form of self-expression for me.
You’re really open about your upper limb difference (ULD) on your socials, have you always been confident with your difference?
No, it’s tough to admit, but I used to really hate it. That sounds strong but that’s honestly how I felt. I think it was a mix of growing up on the Isle of Wight, misinformation my parents had, and the fact that there just wasn’t much representation when I was younger. I didn’t see anyone who looked like me, and it made me feel uncomfortable with who I was. We didn’t find out I had Symbrachydactyly until I was 15, so there weren’t many role models or people I could connect with.
My parents were amazing, they always made me feel special and seen, but never like I was different or needed to be protected from the world. I can’t even imagine how hard that must’ve been for them, with no guidance themselves.
One day though, something clicked. I started to embrace my little hand and thought, “Why not use it to help someone else? Why not be that person who comforts others and shows them that it’s okay?” I can proudly say now that I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love my hand. It makes me, me.
You were on Channel 4’s Flirty Dancing in 2019! What did you get from the experience and how was it going on a ‘dancing blind date’?
[Hahaha!] Yes, I was! It was such an amazing, scary, and crazy thing to do! I had been single for a loooong time, and I thought, why not combine trying to find a boyfriend with the thing I love, dance! It was also a brilliant opportunity to raise awareness and talk about limb differences.
A ‘dancing blind date’ is definitely one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. I may not have got a boyfriend out of it, but I made some brilliant friendships, it helped my confidence, and it connected me with so many wonderful people in the ULD community. Whether it was anxious parents or people with a hand like mine. That was the biggest win for me!
How did you navigate dating as a young adult? Did your ULD shape your experience?
For anyone, dating can be awkward, nerve-wracking, and also fun! But my difference definitely shaped my experience. I was probably more guarded in some situations, and I’d say I was a little protective over myself, especially when it came to putting myself out there.
I think when you’ve been self-conscious about something for most of your life, it’s easy to open up the floodgates of picking yourself apart in every way and feeling self-conscious about a lot! It took time to feel comfortable and confident in those situations.
There’s been a lot of talk about whether people should disclose disability or difference on dating apps – what do you think?
Honestly, I’d say hell no, you shouldn’t have to disclose it to anyone. But that said, I always did. I never felt external pressure to do so, but I definitely felt an internal pressure so I could get it out there so there were no surprises. That way, I felt like I could manage their shock or reaction.
It’s a tough one because I’d say, “Why should you have to do that? If they don’t like you for who you are, then they’re not the right person.” But I still always told people before meeting, or if I met someone out, within minutes.
The ultimate answer is, do what feels comfortable for you and what will make you feel more confident. We shouldn’t have to be ready to manage reactions. Hello people, we’re in 2025 and we are PROUD to be different!
Have you had to deal with awkward or inappropriate questions from guys?
Yeah, but I also got used to dealing with the shock reactions. Over time, I learned there’s a big difference between genuine shock and a nasty, “ew” reaction with an inappropriate comment alongside. A genuine reaction is more like, “Whoa, I wasn’t expecting that, give me a second to process.” And I could never really be mad at that because I didn’t see anyone like me or even know what my condition was until I was in my teens. So, chances are, they haven’t either and might just need a second to figure it out.
One thing that always sticks in my mind was when one of my best friends had someone they knew asked for a date with me—but referred to me as “Lily, the one with the hand.” Obviously, she was fuming about it and didn’t put in a good word for him! She wasn’t sure whether to tell me and was upset when she did, but she stood up for me. She said, “Your hand doesn’t define you like that!” My friends were always supportive and protective in a nice way. My hand makes me, me, but it doesn’t define me. There are so many ways you could describe me to people—especially to one of my besties!
You’ve been out of the dating game for a while, where did you meet your partner?
It was during lockdown, and after swearing I’d never make a Tinder account, my housemates pleaded with me on New Year’s Eve to make one just for something to do. I agreed, thinking I’d definitely delete it. I woke up on New Year’s Day with a sore head, my phone pinging, and Nam managed to catch my eye—probably thanks to the dog in his picture! We didn’t stop talking, had virtual dates until we could meet in person, and now, a house and a dog later, we’ve just celebrated our 4-year anniversary!
How did you first talk to Nam about your limb difference? Did he have questions?
While we were messaging, I told him about my limb difference, but he had already checked out my Instagram and seen some of my posts, including that I’d been on Flirty Dancing (which he watched) [haha]. He was totally unfazed, and actually said what I was doing, raising awareness was amazing, which naturally opened the conversation—but not in a questioning kind of way.
He always made me feel so comfortable, and when I finally met him in person, I didn’t even think about my hand.
For young people entering the dating world, what advice would you give them?
Do what feels comfortable for you and what will make you feel more confident. You do not have to explain yourself, but if giving someone a heads-up would make you feel more relaxed, that’s okay too—there’s no shame in that!
Also, you are SO much more than your limb difference. While it’s probably helped shape you into the person you are, it does not define you. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable or less than in any way—whether it’s about your limb difference or something else—then walk away.
I promise you, your person is out there, and they will make you feel so comfortable that you forget all those worries.
How do you hope dating culture changes as we become more accepting of different bodies and experiences?
I hope people become less shallow and more accepting. There’s so much pressure to be and look ‘perfect’, but that’s not reality. Personality is EVERYTHING—at the end of the day, we all just want to be happy. Some people just won’t click, and that’s okay, but you don’t need to be mean or make hurtful comments to get that across.
Love is love, and you should be allowed to love who you want to love.
Shared from Within Reach Magazine Summer 2025. Read it now!