Your Reactions

You may find these either as a general worry and dread, or your fears may be specific. Lacking experience in dealing with your child's problem, you naturally do not know what to expect. You may find it difficult to conjure up the picture of your child going off happily to school, enjoying games with his playmates, or dating as a teenager.

Until you see your child develop some of his natural abilities, you may under-estimate their potential. The experience of members of Reach shows that the development of a child who has a limb deficiency is similar to the development of any other child. Your child will have some limitations, as every child has, but they will also have the capacity to adapt to their limitations and to find ways of accomplishing what they want. Experiences narrated in 'Within Reach' constantly prove this.

Remember, none of us can predict the future, and I suspect would not want to, neither can you control it; you can only affect the present. Like all parents, you will find yourself pleasantly surprised as you watch your child grow.

Reaction of other people

Parents are often concerned about this and often worry about handling it. Actually, there is no magic formula or one 'right way'. You will find through the passage of time, contact with other Reach families and by personal experimentation the way that is comfortable and right for you. You will soon become less anxious when dealing with other people.

Most parents find direct questions are the easiest to handle, e.g. if someone asks 'What happened to your child's arm?' You can simply answer 'He/she was born without a hand'. You may wish to say more, or you may not, depending upon the situation. Some parents find it easier to 'break the ice' by helping someone to express the question that you are sure is on their mind.

Nobody likes to be stared at, and you might find yourself becoming irritated if someone looks at your child for an extended period of time. Remember, however, that curiosity is human, it is the attempt to learn about what is new or different - you yourself do it all the time.

If you find yourself feeling angry, try not to be angry with yourself but be patient, you will gain experience and perspective and as a problem it will cease to exist.